Updates: No progress with finding work so far, I just feel like we are stuck in this endless cycle. I know I should give it time, but all I want to do right now is pack up and go back to Colorado. Feels like that would make things right again, but I suppose it's just due to the frustration of this entire situation and the fact that I haven't slept properly in months. It would be nice to have one full night of rest again. It's turned into this huge deal every night and I've started hating as soon as the sun starts to set.
In any case, I just deleted about 20,000+ messages from my inbox because it felt like it was overflowing. I hate missing all these wonderful things going on here but the steadily increasing numbers were just bothersome to me. If there are any important things you'd like me to see, please feel free to send me a note, as they tend to be dealt with first. I'm sorry if I haven't responded to your messages, I really do read and appreciate every single one of them.
Again, if I can bother you once more, it would mean the world to me if you could spread this journal around, or possibly donating to my paypal, firstname.lastname@example.org . Thank you so much for your help and loving words. It means the world to me.
To the wonderful people that have helped thus far, whether it was financially or simply offering a shoulder and an ear, you are fantastic. I honestly don't know what I would do without you.
Update: Today is my last day at work. I leave for my shift in a few minutes and then it's all over. I can't believe this is happening.
Hey all. It's been awhile.
I've missed you all sooo much.
I just wanted to give you all an update on how things are going over here and see how everyone is doing. I've gotten all your wonderful messages, but haven't had the time to respond to them
If you need anything urgent, please note me. I've only been responding to those when I get a chance.
My hiatus is still in effect till further notice, but I wanted to ask you for some help. I'm going to preface this with an apology, because I really hate to ask such things, but I feel like I have no other options at this moment. Let me start from the beginning for those of you who aren't aware of the situation.
As a lot of you know, the last year of life for me has been very tough. I lost my home, lost all my possessions, all of my money savings due to a horrendous unexpected situation with a family member, and because of that certain situation, I was forced to move across the country. I then got super ill and spent 4 months hacking up my lungs and basically not being able to get out of bed/being in and out of doctors offices. I was unable to find work for quite some time, and just recently got a part time job. I've been living on the living room floor of my boyfriends mom's house for the past 8 months and it just hasn't been pleasant. Due to the situation with the family member, I've had to pay some pretty steep bills for their mistakes. I have literally sold everything that I owned, including my camera, which was one of the only source of stress relief for me. The few things that I did still own, got lost in the mail, including my hard drive which had 10 years of photography, music, and writing on it. It still hasn't shown up, three months later. I don't really like to talk about it, but quite honestly I've had enough of this crap.
I also found out today that I will be laid off of my work on the 24th of December. Greatest Christmas present ever
. There is literally nothing that I can do to keep that particular job and it sucks. I really enjoyed it because the people there are so nice, and the job was one I could actually do without getting extremely ill. Let me explain what I mean. Due to my lung illness and back problems, I can't work around animals/certain air pollutants. Before I got really ill, I was a dog groomer, and that was all I really knew how to do. I had no real job other experience. This job I've been working at was not around animals/pollutants, and the heaviest thing I needed to lift is less then 25 pounds. It's extremely hard to find a job in the area that I live that fits those certain conditions. It took me over six months just to find this particular job.
I also had an unexpected foot injury because someone was extremely dull and left the gates and doors open at this house. All the dogs ran out, and I had to chase them barefoot over glass and rough terrain. It's been really hard to stand the last week because of it, and I'm certain it's infected. Not only that, but Matt got jumped this week on his way to work. He is okay, but we are both really shaken up. I still can't believe it. I don't know what I would do without him. So many bad things have occurred lately, it's just silly.
I've had a lot of bills pile up because of everything that has happened, and the fact that my job has only been giving me 8 hours or less each week. I feel very helpless, as I literally have nothing left I can sell/do in order to get money for food and necessities like clothes and ridiculous things like stuff for the bathroom :/ I would offer to sell my artwork, but like I mentioned before, my hardrive was lost in the mail, and the computer I had, had none of that on it. Even if I did have some of that information on that laptop, it's now gone because it broke. I'm thankful that I get to use Matt's computer to write this.
Anyways, I'm going to apologize once again because I feel super ashamed to do this, especially because it's the holidays soon and money is tight everywhere, but I feel like I have no other options right now while I search for another job. If there is anyway that you could possibly help me out financially, just to get some groceries/gas, clothes, and necessities for the house, I would appreciate it so much. Any donations can be made via paypal to email@example.com. If you can't, I completely understand. And even if you can't, I would really appreciate it if you could fave this journal or just spread this journal to your watchers, just in case someone might be able to help out. Again, I am so sorry for asking. I absolutely despise myself for even posting this
Here's hoping for a Christmas miracle and getting a new job soon.
I love you all and hope to be back full force soon.